Fat Baby hasn't been napping well, and ever since his hospital stint my days and nights have been flipped. Despite my very best and continuing efforts, I can't seem to unflip them. This backstory has a point, I promise.
MY rhythms being inverted while Fat Baby's are normal means that I spend all day long desperately trying to wake up WHILE watching kidoo. All. Day. I finally start to feel awake between 6 to 8 PM. Fat Baby goes to bed around 9. I go to bed around midnight, physically and emotionally exhausted and my brain chugging along like a wild freight train. With no rails. And faster. Maybe like a Chernobyl with it's head cut off?
Good analogies are a well-rested-brain thing, apparently. Via http://www.digitaljungle.com/cow/COW236_J-Sun.jpg
Repeat daily for nearly 2 months.
Sleep deprivation will make you do funny things. The more you are deprived, the funnier things can get. Until something horrible happens, probably, but I'm still safely in the funny stage. I think. I hope.
Funny, right? Via http://doblelol.com/uploads/12/placement-funny.jpg
Ok, so those who know me know I (generally) keep a really well stocked pantry so that I don't ever have to buy anything not-on-sale. Except that my pantry is severely empty (by my standards), and I've been having very out-of-season cravings, which is a horrible combo. What I'm trying to say is that I've been craving a roasted turkey sandwich like CRAZY for a while now, and I'm completely out of turkey in my deep freeze.
Maybe I'm completely out of EVERYTHING. Via http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3306/4580491305_b753384525_b.jpg
I broke down and bought a whole turkey breast. Out of season. Not on sale. Turkey farmers should all be driving solid gold Humvees for what the grocery store is selling them for per lb!
IN 3 MONTHS YOU WILL LITERALLY BE GIVING THEM AWAY YOU CASH-HOLES! Via http://www.frugalphillymom.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/shoprite-free-turkey.jpg
After paying more for this (admittedly beautiful) turkey breast than I have for my last 15 whole birds COMBINED, I lovingly brined, seasoned, and slow roasted it. I tented and rested it. I carefully sliced and loaded up the bread of a delicious turkey sandwich. Magnifique!
This is where sleepiness can just jump right out at ya. I let the rest of it cool, I packaged some for the fridge, some for the freezer. No worries, right?
The next morning I start making breakfast and my jaw drops. Without exaggeration, my jaw hit my chest and I just stared for several long, painful moments.
I never actually put the turkey in the fridge. It sat out all night. Perfectly packaged and growing who-only-knows how many gross buggies.
I had to throw it all away.
And that's why every cook should always get a good night's sleep.